Where our quirks come from

Warning!

This story is about Child Abuse. It may be disturbing to some readers.

Growing up I didn’t have a stable father figure. My step dad was … as unstable as they came. He would do weird and bizarre things to punish Brandon and I. If Brandon or I would complain about Rebecca or Ryan he would walk out side in the snow barefoot or quite literally beat them. It’s something that I’ll never forget, a body builder holding his toddlers by one arm in the air and hitting them.  Are you awake now?

            I was fortunate in having a grandfather who was the best influence I could ever hope to have. He was of the old school philosophy in that kids should be loved, but held with a disciplined hand. He didn’t put up with any bullshit, but at the same time loved you more than you could ever imagine.

            I can remember taking walks with papaw to the corner store in Grammar, IN. It was a small po-dunk town, but I loved it. We would walk to the store and buy a few things we needed, cereal, pop, candy, you know, the basics. When we would finish at the store we would usually make a trip to the farm and check out the pigs.

            As I got older I started to stand up to Lewis. I had no respect for him. He really did try hard, but the man was messed up as a kid. It’s funny, he genuinely loved us, and his kids, but he would abuse us. He had no idea that what he was doing was wrong. None. He thought beating his kids, then hurting himself and calling the police was (are you ready for this?) normal. I’m not making this up.

            I would get back at him when Mom was home. I would have Ryan bag him in front of Mom. He was a different person when she was around and I don’t think it was conscious either. When my Mom would come home, she would ask how we were, and he would always say we were good. NO MATTER WHAT HAD HAPPENED.

            I’ve thought about this over the years. I think Lewis was so bat shit crazy that he’d created a partition in him brain. All the negative things went in the big partition, and all the positive things went in the little partition. He was Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. To this day, Brandon, Rebecca and Ryan all have these quirks that others don’t really notice, or behaviors that no one understands and it’s because of Lewis. I’m sure I have some strange behavior from my exposer to such strange behaviors, but for the life of me, I have no idea what it is. Maybe it’s the way I fluff my hair when it gets long? That’s it reader, I fluff my hair.

            Lewis and my Mom eventually got a divorce. He cheated on her with one of his co-workers. I lost all respect for him then. When I would see him as an adult he would try to talk to me and I would treat him like a stranger. To this day I wont speak to the man. I went from calling him Daddy to pretending I didn’t know him.

Lewis, I know you’ll never read this. I know you didn’t always know what in the hell you were doing. That doesn’t make what you did right, but I think I understand. I hope you got the help you needed.