On September 11, 2000 I signed a piece of paper giving my body to and swearing an oath of loyalty to the Governor of Indiana. When you join the military you literally give your body to the government. You become government property and even get a number like a piece of furniture, or even a rifle does. You are categorized depending on your function and where your end destination will be.
January 26th 2001 I arrived at Ft. Benning Georgia. It was home to Fire Ants and Senior Drill Instructor Lawson. I’m not sure which one I was more afraid of honestly. They both could get in your crawl spaces and inflict some serious pain. Senior Drill Instructor (SDI) Lawson frequently reminded me how out of shape and obese I was, and for good reason. Needless to say, I hated the man, which means he’d done his job.
One freezing cold morning the Drill instructors of Charlie 138, Rock of the Marne Drill Sargent; decided our sleepy looking assess needed to run. It was the exact time of zero dark thirty. That’s military time kids. I being an unruly 20 year old and hating authority, (GOOD JOB JOINING THE MILITARY YOU IDIOT!) decided I’d be a little lippy to my battle buddy (the guy who was as bad at running as I was). When SDI Lawson decided that our time around the track wasn’t fast enough he told us to do it again, and again and again. By the third or fourth quarter mile lap I was pretty much done. It was at that moment that I made the worst mistake I could and ever would make in the military. I called my SDI a bad name. No not a racist name you silly twit. I called him a motherfucker.
You see; it was very cold out and my BCG’s (that’s Birth Control Glasses) liked to fog up when my chubby butt ran. Heat plus cold plus heavy breathing equals foggy glasses. So when the new Drill Instructor in front of me (who I’d never seen and wasn’t wearing his enormous big brown round hat) stopped running and turned around, I thought nothing of it; just another private about to puke from running.
No dear reader, I was very, very wrong. What proceeded to happen next was what very nearly ended my military career before it ever began. The Drill Instructor asked for my name and platoon etc. I, never being one to lie; told the truth, even if I was bad at soldiering, I had integrity. It was something my Mother and Grandfather had instilled in me from a very young age.
When I eventually made it around the track SDI Lawson called me over and made me repeat what I had called him. I begrudgingly said the word. He smiled and was obviously very upset. You see SDI was a very Christian man and had never been called such a thing. I guess in the south, a motherfucker is a pretty bad thing to be called. He made me repeat it several times to other drill instructors. When He finally found our First Sergeant he made me tell him what I’d said. The First Sergeant looked at me and told me I was a dumb ass and asked how many times I’d repeated myself. I had no idea honestly I told him. He laughed and said to bring him to his office.
SDI Lawson and First Sergeant explained to me that I was being discharged with an article 15 (military law stuff). Insulting a Senior NCO in front of other NCO’s multiple times. It’s a pretty serious offence I guess. I went in front of the Company Commander and he asked if I’d wanted to stay or go, he informed me he wanted me gone. I lied and said I was ready to go, I didn’t want to serve my country. He looked at me and smiled and said I was a liar.
When I’d arrived at Charlie 138 we had to write out why we were there. I’d of course been filled with patriotism and explained that I was 3rd generation military and it was my life long dream to be in the military, to be a soldier. My Company Commander had that piece of paper in his hand. He told me to pack my bags, my dreams were done, I’d never make it as a soldier, and I didn’t have the discipline or the drive.
After packing my bags up and waiting for a while my SDI came back to me and told me to unpack, I wasn’t going anywhere. He was going to make me into a soldier no matter what I said. And at that my friends began my personnel hell that was Basic Training. I volunteered for every crap duty there was, I read the bible non-stop, I pushed myself harder than I ever had in my entire life. I broke down a few times through out the course of my stay at Charlie 138. I made my life hard by being a bull headed son-of-a-bitch. It made me a better man though.
Thank you for not giving up on me Senior Drill Instructor Lawson. I owe you more than you will ever know.
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