On my own

            When I was 17 I left home. My mothers third husband Jim was a raging alcoholic who was hell bent on destroying Brandon and mines life. I thought Lewis was bad, but this dude was a quack. It was like my Mom was hell-bent on finding the worst piece of crap husband she could find. Jim had taken the cake so far.

            The night I left I went to the closest person who could help me, Dori Trimnell. She was a really nice lady, and hated Jim to boot. I think if I’d asked her she’d have shot Jim and claimed self-defense. She wouldn’t let us live with her, but she said she would help us any other way she could and I was glad for that. She offered kind words and advice, which is what I needed.

            I was going to be 18 in a few months so I had decided I’d move out and if my Mom was adamant on keeping me home until I was 18 then I would file for an emancipation. If my mother wanted to be in an abusive relationship then I couldn’t stop her, but I was NOT going through that crap again. Lewis was gone and I hadn’t had to deal with him in a few years. I wasn’t about to go back into another situation like that.

            So I called on my friend Isaiah Hawk. He and his mother took me in. Brandon was too young to leave so he would have to return home. I was glad to have a place to stay. The following morning I woke up and was heading to school when I had the sudden realization that I had no money. Debbi fed me breakfast and offered me lunch money. I felt so ashamed for taking money from someone else’s mother, but I didn’t know what else to do. Isaiah and I went and found jobs that week.

My mother never reported me as a run away. I don’t think the police would have returned me either as I was 17. I let my dean and the school know that I was living on my own as a minor and would need help with money for books, lunch and Prom. My dean, for the only time in his life; was understanding and even helped me through the process. The Vice Principal even helped me fill out the paper work for some of the stuff I needed. Some of my teachers eventually learned what was going on and helped me.

I reported the abuse I had received from Jim to the school, but nothing was ever done. I don’t know that the school took it seriously honestly. I admit I wasn’t the model student, but I wasn’t a liar either. I had lived with a violent person who was abusing my mother and my siblings and there was nothing I could do about it. No one would take me seriously.

After I had turned 18 I moved back home to help my brother. My mom was moving out with Jim soon, but my brother and I would remain with my grandparents to help care for them. It was probably the worst year of my life. I’d moved away from home as a minor, I wasn’t seeing my girl friend except at school and my grandfather would die on prom night. I would confront Jim eventually after he hurt my mother. It was the first time I’d stood up to him. I had a pair of brass knuckles and chased him out of the house. My mom defended him later. They moved out shortly after that.

It was a terrible time period in my life, but it also helped shape the person I am today. I don’t know that I would trade those experiences away for others. I gained two mothers from the experience. Thank you Dori and Debbie.